Teaching American History and Government leads to many difficult conversations with students and families. One of my favorite emotionally difficult topics to teach is the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. This tense time, rife with conflict and blatant racism, can bring up very strong emotions for middle school students who are working through their beliefs and values. We cover events like the Greensboro Sit-ins, the Children’s Crusade, Martin Luther King Jr.’s speeches and assassination, and so much more. Students must learn to express themselves in our classrooms, but it can be terrifying to let go and trust them to have responsible, respectful conversations with their peers.
Diverse student groups can create many opportunities for growth and understanding, but they can also leave students feeling hurt when their peers express views with which they don’t agree. This, however, will continue throughout students’ lives, so learning how to deal with differences on moral and value-based issues is an important skill. It is also not a skill that can be taught without the support of the communities surrounding the students: home and school.
I used to experience great anxiety when I prepared to teach any topic that might elicit emotional responses from students. However, a few years ago, I found a way to support my students through these conversations. The protocol I use ensures the safety of my students, their families, and me. We start each class that may lead to difficult conversations by discussing why we need to look at the terrible things (to do better in the future, to remember what people did, to see how people stood up for their rights, etc.), and then we walk through the expectations I have for them.
I usually say something like this:
“We’ll be talking about some difficult topics today, like racism and violence. Since you are a human, you might have an emotional response to these things. That is totally normal! You might not understand what your emotions mean or where they come from, but it is okay to have these emotions! If you find yourself upset, you have two choices. One, you can raise your hand and tell me right away. We’ll go into the hallway and talk, or we can get you connected with the guidance counselor. Your second choice is to wait until the end of class if you want to see how the conversation ends. No matter when you tell me, we will call your guardian and the three of us will discuss what we talked about, how you’re feeling, and how we can move forward together.”
These expectations shifted multiple things in my classroom. Firstly, before we’ve even started, it emphasizes that all of us in the room are human beings who have feelings. One person’s feelings might look different than another’s, but they are all valid feelings. Secondly, it creates a home-school connection. Students know that I will speak with their parents while they are also in the conversation and that we will reach a common understanding. I have found that the expectation that I speak to parents/guardians makes them think a bit more before they speak, which can curb unkind remarks. It also proves my accountability in my students’ eyes because if I am willing to repeat anything I say in this lesson to their parents or guardians, no one will be able to misrepresent a conversation to create a hostile situation. We can unite around the awful things people did in the past to create a community of understanding in our school today.
If a student feels upset by the topic and we need to call home, the conversation might go like this:
Teacher: “Hello (Guardian Name). This is (Teacher) from (School). Do you have a minute to talk?
If they say no, I ask if there is a time we can talk later today or if they would prefer an email.
If they say yes, I continue: “Thanks so much. I have (student name) here with me. We’ve been learning about (overview of the topic) today, and (student) is feeling upset by the conversation. (Student’s name), can you tell us how you’re feeling?”
The student will share a bit of what upset them and how they are feeling about what happened or was discussed. The three of us can then decide what would be best for the student. Depending on the student, a walk up and down the hallway, a trip to the bathroom to regroup, a meeting with a counselor, or a continued discussion with me during lunch, electives, etc., might be the solution. It’s important to determine your options before the lesson so that you are not caught off guard.
To finish up the conversation, I ask if the student is okay with the solution and then ask if the parent is comfortable with the plan. I also ask the parent if they need me to call back later without the student, or if they would like to schedule a meeting with me at a later date, and offer to arrange that via email. Above all, approaching the student and their guardian with empathy and respect is the most important. It is also helpful to try to stay as calm as possible and remember that the situation you are teaching is not your fault.
This simple change in the rhetoric around difficult conversations makes it easier to discuss these topics with empathy, accountability, and respect, grounded in the community our students live in every day. It normalizes a home-school connection, and it creates safety for everyone involved. None of us signed up to teach U.S. History or Civics because we thought it would be easy; we’re here because we know that these difficult conversations are how we can improve our community’s future through our students.
